If you are my Facebook friend you have heard the story of Carson Spies. He is the 6 week old son who went to be with Jesus after complications of a minor surgery. HEART BREAKING. My sister, Laura, is best friends with Carson's momma. As Laura would give me updates, "he has to have surgery", "he's on the ventilator", "he has to have a blood transfusion", "the outcome is unsure", it brought back so many feelings and worries that I had forgotten I experienced with Sawyer. It felt very close to home. Thinking of Tiffany, I couldn't help but weep for her during each step of the way.

Thousands of people were praying for Carson. Literally. That's an insane amount of people crying out to the Lord to spare this child's life. God answered our prayers differently than we hoped. He took Carson to Heaven. I didn't question God's love or sovereignty for the Spies family. But it was very hard to understand His method. How on earth was the death of this baby going to bring Him glory? Wouldn't it be a better testimony of how prayer works if Carson had lived? I had to start praying for a faith that is unwaivering and not doubting.

The Holy Spirit laid it on my heart that our Father knows what he's doing. Hello! Of course he does! I can't wrap my pea brain around how the loss of Carson is going to bring him glory, but He knows. And that's all that matters. How can I do anything but worship and praise him even more? He knows and I don't.

Thank you, Jesus, for answering my prayer to have unwaivering faith through this! He used Carson to grow me!